Room for Rent © Ethereal 2006 All Rights Reserved

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Excerpt from "Room for Rent" by Ethereal

“Chris?” Laurie called again. “Are you there? I need a towel in here.”

          An arm suddenly appeared in front of her face, a towel draped over it. Laurie thanked Chris and, wrapping the towel around herself, she grabbed her clothes and headed to her room. She could feel hys eyes on her as she walked across the carpet. She knew the expression on hys face without having to look at hym. Hys head was slightly cocked to the side; hys deep brown eyes a mixture of concern of regret.

          Laurie turned to look at Chris. There was something in hys eyes she hadn’t counted on. The steam was still rising out of the bathroom in plumes, covering Chris in a cloud. It seemed to bellow around hym, coming off of hym. Before she realized what she was doing, Laurie began to walk toward hym, brushing the wet hair out of her face. Her breathing quickened, her heart began to pound. Chris’ body tensed and hys eyes widened. Laurie pressed her body up against hys and kissed hys lips. She ran her fingers up hys neck and into hys hair. Hy jerked for a second, surprised, before hy relaxed and returned the kiss, wrapping hys arms around Laurie and pulling her close. When Laurie finally pulled away, Chris’ eyes were shining, and hys lips were forming into a smile.

          “Chris, there is something I need to tell you.” 

          “You’re not mad at me anymore?” Chris offered.

          Laurie smiled.

          “Well, I understand why you were so upset,” Laurie explained. “I’m very grateful to you for protecting me.”

          “What kind of person would I be if I hadn’t?”

          “I need to tell you something,” Laurie repeated.

          “Maybe we should sit down,” Chris offered.

          They sat on the couch, Laurie’s hair and body still wet from her shower.

          “Okay,” Laurie began, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you this, or how you’ll take it. But, I want to tell you that I have very strong feelings for you.”

          Chris smiled and took Laurie’s hand.

          “I have feelings for you, too. I’ve had them ever since I met you, as a matter of fact.”

          “At first I didn’t want to admit it, considering you’re…” Laurie trailed off.

          “Gay,” Chris finished for her. “Yes, it’s complicated. I’m not bisexual. It’s different than that. Listen, I’ve tried very hard not to have these feelings for you. I have no idea how you’re going to react to all this. It’s hard for me to talk about.”

          Chris was silent. Hy leaned back on the couch and put hys hands behind hys head.

          Laurie put a reassuring hand on hys knee.

          “You can tell me,” Laurie whispered.

          “This is difficult, Laurie,” repeated Chris. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”

          “I won’t be.”

          Chris fell silent again, fiddling with a stray piece of fabric unraveling from the seam of one of the couch cushions. Hy crossed and uncrossed hys legs and cleared hys throat. Hy avoided Laurie’s eyes.

          “Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Laurie insisted.

          Chris leaned forward on hys knees and steepled hys fingers together, staring over the top of them.

          “I don’t think I can,” hy said quietly. “I’m so sorry, Laurie.”

          “Why are you sorry?” Laurie asked. She was becoming confused. Chris had been so warm only moments before.

          Hy looked over at Laurie and the look in hys eyes unnerved her.

          “I do have feelings for you. That, I won’t deny. But, I know that it won’t work out between us. I can’t explain why. It’s very complicated. I hope you’ll understand.”

          “So…you don’t want to pursue this?” Laurie asked, swallowing back the lump in her throat.

          Chris shook hys head.

          “I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Chris said. “I wish I could explain. I don’t want to hurt you or lead you on any longer.”

          “What are you saying?” Laurie suddenly felt uneasy.

          “Considering the situation…” Chris measured hys words carefully. “I believe it would be best for both of us if you found another place to live.”

          Hys words slammed into Laurie’s chest like a freight train. By the time she caught her breath, Chris was already heading to hys bedroom.

          “No,” Laurie said more to herself than to hym. 

          “I’m sorry.” Chris’ voice was low and he didn’t turn around to face her. Hy closed the door to hys room.

          Laurie, still practically naked and in complete shock, glared at hys door. Making the decision to not let Chris walk away this time, she got up off the couch and pounded on hys door.

          “I really don’t want to talk about this,” Chris responded.

          “Well, I do!” Laurie yelled. “Do my feelings mean nothing at all to you?”

          No answer.

          “You were just kissing me!” Laurie continued yelling, the volume of her voice rising. “You just held my hand and told me that you had feelings for me. Now you’re backing out? Now you want me to move? I’m not leaving you alone until you give me an explanation!”

          No answer.

          “Dammit, Chris!” Laurie screamed, slamming her open palm against the wooden door. “You are the most infuriating transgender butch I have ever met!”

          She turned on her heel and began walking away. As she suspected, the door to Chris’ room swung open. Laurie turned to face hym.

          “Yes, I know,” Laurie said, tears streaming down her face. “I have known. I saw you swimming naked in the pool three weeks ago. I’ve been reading websites, researching, talking to my best friend…”

          “How long were you going to wait to tell me that you knew?”

          “I wanted to educate myself on the subject,” Laurie explained. “I wanted to have a better understanding, or at least have an idea of how to talk to you about this. Do you think it’s been easy for me? This attraction changes me.”

Chris just stared at her.

          “Say something,” Laurie insisted.

          Chris crossed the room and kissed her. She hungrily returned hys kiss, slipping her hands under the back of hys shirt, longing to feel hys skin against hers. She’d never felt such a mix of desire and longing before. It filled her with a desperation that frightened her. Laurie wanted Chris more than she wanted air. She pressed her body against hys, pulling her towel off and letting it fall to the floor. Chris pulled away for a moment to study her naked body. Hys eyes drank her in, their passion making her quiver. Hy kissed her neck, down her collarbone, stopping at one of her breasts, taking her nipple into hys mouth and gently sucking.

          “Please make love to me,” Laurie whispered.